The “together for London” bit is right: everyone together, trying to make it onto the train with complete disregard for anyone else.

Let’s look at it in parts..

	This helpful chap is trying to say “give up your seat for someone else”. Firstly that’s assuming that the person has a seat and isn’t stuffed up in the cleverly designed tube shaped carriages that are designed for minimal seating and maximum discomfort if you haven’t got a seat and are anything above 5 foot nothing. Secondly this guy is clearly an emo with that haircut and pale skin. So for them to be wearing that t-shirt it’s probably just being ironic and showing off the teen angst. Let’s see the back of it eh?
	Where on the tube can you get reception on your mobile? This one was obviously a misprint: here’s the correct one.
	Let’s be brutally fucking honest: anyone who wears big arse silver headphones isn’t going for subtle or consideration of others. And with those sideburns he’s probably put a few people’s eyes out on the tube in addition to deafening countless others. They’re going to be blaring out some godawful cheesy shite RnB or some indie band they’ve deprived of income by downloading their mp3s. The whole point of walking around public wearing headphones is really about being able to ignore everyone else. It’s rare to find a big bling pair of headphones that don’t have exposed speakers which mean they broadcast out as much as in.
	Bit unnecessary as there’s no where to drop litter on the tube because of the million and one shittily written crapsheet free newspapers that sheeple take each day read about what posh and becks had for lunch and who Britney flashed her pink bits to recently. That’s if they don’t leave it on way up the escalator in some teetering pile waiting to crush some unfortunate small child.

One final big mistake

Anyone pick what else is wrong with it?

Since when does anyone bloody smile on the tube eh? This will NEVER change and any ad that implies people are happy to cram into awkwardly shaped slow cooking devices on tracks like mopey, grumpy sardines. People look at you funny if you smile at them, wondering whether you’re going to stab them or merely kick them into a coma (and rightly so given the stats).

Here’s one that might help too:

Perhaps the love of long life milk is an inverse thing with the love of short life bread. Although those bread sticks straight out of the oven are great, by the time you’ve got them unpacked at home and left to sit on the bench for 5 minutes they’re rock hard and stale (ok, I’m exaggerating.. 10 minutes tops!).

Anyhow, think when I’m back to the UK I shall swing by the Borough markets in London and get some non homogenised, full cream milk and just wallow around in it. Well, that or just get the pancakes and clotted cream at The Garrison, still my favourite breakfast place in London (though damn their 11:15 cut off for breakfast orders..).

Time to get moving as the weather isn’t looking great up North through france. Want to swing by the Millau bridge in the clouds on the way. Hopefully it won’t be too windy and icey. Then Paris, Calais, ferry to UK, London. Pack up life, maybe sell bike and head home.